True Tales of the Outside World: Freaky Guy at College

Recent events have proven to me, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I am back to my old self.

Earlier today, I was walking out of the cafeteria at college, heading home. As I'm going down the first staircase, I head a voice behind me say "Hey".

I turn to see a short, weird looking guy, maybe 4'5", wearing a baseball cap, thick rimmed glasses, and a vinyl jacket, the kind they used to hand out at baseball games. He's dressed like maybe I used to dress in the mid 80s. When I was 7. And he's got more than a passing resemblence to that guy who was in Rushmore, in miniature. It's spooky.

I acknowledge the greeting with a dismissive "Hey." and keep walking. Never missed a step.

Short comes up right beside me, and falls into step. And he starts talking.

"So yeah I need to get out of here cause I've got to be back here at 6:30 for choir and I still have to go home and shower and change my clothes, and my mom said she wanted me to do some laundry..."

It was at this point I came to two important realizations.

One, this kid has some kind of mental, or social disease, which makes him want to accost random strangers, and two, he was annoying me.

While the first one didn't register one way or another, the second matter made him open game.

I interupted his tangent.

"You know those people you hear about on tv? The ones who've just got no love for their fellow man, and would just as soon kill them as look at them?"
"...yeah..."
"Yeah. That's me." For added effect, I glance at him disaprovingly. Mind you I don't want to scare the poor geek. But I am wondering how he reacts. Sadly, his reaction only served to further push my "must mess with pathetic person" button.
"Wow......so what makes you feel like that?" He says, hardly pausing a moment. He either recovers fast, making him some sort of conversational savant, or he's working on instinct.
"Well, I guess you could just say I'm a PRODUCT of my environment." I add extra creepy inflection. In my mind, I'm imagining myself as Jack Nichelson, playing the Joker.
"So.....you'd just rather kill someone than look at them?" Regurgitating a statement into a question. Very weird.
"Well, that depends on how much they annoy me." I glance over at him AGAIN for effect.
"Isn't that like a satanist thing?"
"No no no, the word you're looking for is PSYCHOTIC. Satanism would be devil worship."
"Oh. Well that kinda scares me that you might ever try to kill me."
"Well......we'll see how the day goes." This time I don't look over. He follows another ten steps, then stops. I figure maybe he's turned off, and run away, perhaps. But after a few seconds, I hear someone talking about their laundy, and choir practice.

I turn around, and about 20 steps behind me is a preppy guy in all white (likely Sean John, or Nautica, or some such), backwards ball cap, oozing "south county sauve" as I call it. It was too far for me to see if he had a dirtlip.

And he's trailing my new friend. Now his new friend. And I think, maybe, the new friend of anyone he happens across.

Now mind you, I do feel somewhat bad for the guy. He must get lonely, and that's his way of trying to make a connection. I can identify with that. Sadly, he crossed the line from, "Guy who needs a friend" to "Freakshow who is bothering me". And I have a zero tolerence policy.

We should all just be glad it didn't come to violence.