Hollywood has lost it's damn mind.

Forgive the hotlinking, but I feel a dark need to direct your attention to this article on joystiq.

This should prove, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that mankind is in it's last days.

To start with, I must say that I like the Dead or Alive series of games. Rather, I should say, I like ALL fighting games (there is something about slamming opponents into things and throwing them off buildings that fills me with joy.), and I tolerate Dead or Alive because it's in that genre, and has solid gameplay, despite the fixation on "jubbly bits".

But come. The fuck. On. LOOK AT THIS CRAP! First off, it seems that NONE of the male characters made it in to this movie. ...whatever. THAT alone might not have killed it. Jamie Presley damn sure will. I think she'll be hard pressed to outgrow what I would consider the perfect role for her, the trailer trashy ex-wife on "My Name is Earl". Acting like that can't be taught. You have to be BORN that trashy.

As of late, the the entertainment industry has been getting pretty crazy. They're going to pretty amazing lengths to protect their "intellectual" property (and I'm using that term loosely), such as HACKING YOUR COMPUTER, and sueing old people. They've even gone so far as to suggest that if you own a DVD burner, your next major purchase may well be a needle for horse. And, I'm sure we have ALL seen the informative public service announcement from the MPAA featuring some set builder, talking about how every time you download a movie, God eats one of his babies, and the interweb is making him poor.

The MPAA estimates that it loses 3 billion dollars a year to internet piracy, admitting, though, that since the exact scale of internet piracy isn't precicely traceable, that number could be much higher. They neglect to mention it's possible that number is much lower. I should point out, here, that the movie industry makes a shit ton of money, and records record profits, every single year.

I have an idea. If you want to save money, MPAA, how about you stop paying lawyers to sue the crap out of 12 year olds, quit lobbying to politicians to get draconian limits on digital broadcasting made, and, here's a crazy thought. STOP MAKING SHITTY MOVIES, AND EXPECTING ME TO GO SEE THEM!

I love movies, but in the last 6 months, I think I've only seen a handful. Serenity, Batman, Domino, Harry Potter, Jarhead... that's it. Is it because I'm cheap? Because I download movies on my computer? Addmitedly, I do. But I only download subtitled foreign films that haven't made it to the states yet. So why arn't I going to see more movies?

Well, let's start by looking at what's coming out soon...(and yes, I'm hotlinking these. Why? SO I CAN PROVE TO YOU THAT I'M NOT MAKING THESE MOVIES UP. Also, I want to see if I can get the MPAA to sue me.)

Aeon Flux, what looks to be a terrible rendition of a very strange animated show from the 90s. Pass.

Get Rich or Die Tryin'. If I were a drug dealer, I would seriously hope someone shoots me in the chest and face 5 times so I can have a movie/record/video game deal. STOP GIVING THIS MAN MONEY, YOU SICK FUCKS! For fuck sake, the movie title is spelled in Ebonics.

Cheaper by the Dozen....2. I didn't want to see the first one. I can't really get behind a movie about two morons who just have TOO MANY FUCKING KIDS. It's like there's a conspiricy to convince stupid people to have rediculously large familys, which keeps them poor, stupid, and voting republican...maybe I'm reading too much into this...

Yours Mine and Ours... or maybe not.

Underworld: Evolution. The first movie was fucking horrible. The only way I'll go see #2 is if it's free, and they're issuing refunds for the people who saw the first one.

Big Mama's House 2. Someone, for god sake, please kill Martin Lawrence.

Final Destination 3. The first two were already black marks on the movie industry. Now this. This movie doesn't even have the destinction of being "a piece of crap with Devon Sawa in it."

Bloodrayne. GOD DAMMIT, it's bad enough that you're making shitty movies about good video games, now you're making shitty movies about shitty video games?

If I CAN find a movie to see, which happens MAYBE once a month, when a few years back I went almost every weekend...I get to spend 10 bucks a person on a movie ticket. For my ten dollars, first, I'm treated to 30 minutes of commercials, after which I get to spend 2 hours in a crowded movie theater with morons who won't shut the fuck up, turn off thier cellphones, or hire a god damn babysitter.

And fuck me if either I or the people with me get thirsty. Three bucks is the cheapest you could expect to spend on soda, popcorn and candy prices are even worse. It used to be I could get a giant box of Junior Mints for 3 bucks, but now that same $3 buys me a regular size box, which doesn't even set me back a full dollar in the outside world.

And now, this Dead or Alive movie. If you're really worried about losing $3 billion dollars a year, you might want to stop spending $100 million dollars to make movies so bad that they cause seziures and anurisms in anyone that watches them.

As of right now, I'm boycotting Hollywood. Before they KILL me.